"That’s when I finally got it. I finally understood. It wasn’t the thought that counted. It was the actual execution that mattered, the showing up for somebody. The intent behind it wasn’t enough. Not for me. Not anymore. It wasn’t enough to know that deep down, he loved me. You had to actually say it to somebody, show them you cared. And he just didn’t. Not enough."
"I’m a terrible person.
I’m with someone who’d give me the world if I asked. He’d swear to the skies promising he’ll never leave my side, then climb across mountains and swim through oceans just to prove it.
He’d sacrifice his wants for mine. Bear my burdens. Stay up past midnight talking to me on the phone and listen to me cry my heart out in spite of having to wake up early the next day.
He’d say “I love you” without a shred of doubt, like it’s an absolute fact, and laugh afterwards because he’d know on the other end of the line he turned me into a blushing mess.
But I keep questioning everything, pushing him away, searching for the hidden intentions of betrayal underneath every single little thing he does. Driving myself crazy and paranoid because I believe he’s eventually going to leave me heartbroken and alone like the rest."
I’m So Fucked Up From The Past It’s Also Hurting Him (k.m.)